


War of Escalation

by LittleMissGG



Series: The Prankster Chronicles [5]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, Marauders, PWP without Porn, Pranks, Transformation, Unwanted animal parts!?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-24
Updated: 2019-09-24
Packaged: 2020-10-27 14:24:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20761823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleMissGG/pseuds/LittleMissGG
Summary: One thing always leads to another.Good old fashioned Marauder pranking with a ton of smut thrown in for good measure. There is some smut involving an unexpected tail... I have no sweet clue how to tag that.(originally posted June 2005)





	1. Chapter 1

“Peter?”

“Yeah?”

“Would you mind getting up here and poking my eyes out with your wand?”

“They at it again?”

“On my bed.”

“Damn.”

“That was pretty much sentiment, yeah.”

“Oi! You two? We’re coming in. So... y’know... stop it.”

“... Why?”

“What?!”

“Why? Why should we stop? I mean I’m not particularly inclined at this juncture to stop, in fact Moony might consider it rude.”

“...Very!! Very rude!!”

“So come back in five -”

“Ten!”

“Ten minutes.”

“Get off my bloody bed! Both of you!”

* * * * * *

It started after James’s caught Remus and Sirius at it on his bed.   
For the third time.   
That week.   
It was apparently not their fault that his bed was closest to the door and therefore the first thing they ended up on when the mood took them. James wasn’t convinced. It was all part of the rather epic ‘Making Up Session’ which was a result of ‘The Incident’ and had so far lasted three weeks. Three weeks of catching the two of them at it like bunnies all the bloody time. Really kinky and insatiable bunnies. James Potter had had enough, and it was time to make his objections felt.

At 4 a.m. Monday morning James crept into the bathroom and muttered a recently discovered spell over Sirius's shampoo. He crawled back into his bed, unheard, and then laid awake for the rest of the night waiting anxiously for the morning. At 7.a.m he heard the familiar sound of Sirius climbing out of bed and Remus moaning at the cold. He listened restlessly while Sirius turned on the water, stepped in and began singing off-key. He waited for the sound of the water turning off, the pad of Sirius’s wet feet across the huge tiled floor. He waited. And waited. And waited.

“WHAT... THE FUCK!?”

Remus flung back the curtain on his and Sirius’s bed and looked quizzically at the bathroom door. Peter mumbled but didn’t appear. James spun over in bed, shut his eyes and pretended to be fast asleep.

“Potter!? Potter I will fucking wring your scrawny little neck you absolute, total, complete TOSSER!”

Sirius exploded from the bathroom, boxer shorts pulled hastily back on, body dripping wet. His black hair drying in silky waves...

“Oh merlin! Siri your hair!!” Remus squealed and fell back against the bed giggling. Peter emerged at that and hooted with laughter, falling from his bed and laughing into his slippers.

Sirius’s midnight black, almost blue, perfect silky hair was... blonde. White blonde. Shocking, peroxide, luminous blonde. His eyebrows were still very much black.

Sirius dived across the room, yanked open James’s curtains and tackled him from his bed. James popped his eyes open in mock fright but upon seeing Sirius’s bleached locks his burst into peals of laughter.

“Oh man! It’s even... better than... I thought it’d be!”

“You... you... you little snivelling...” Sirius was wild with rage, his eyes comically wide, he was practically foaming at the mouth. “Fix it! Fix it right now or I’m going to... I dunno, I can’t think of anything suitably horrifying but you mark my words Mister as sure as my name’s Sirius Black...”

“Or Blonde as the case might currently be!” Peter piped up from the floor by his bed, tears still streaming down his cheerful face. Remus, who had gathered himself somewhat, suppressed a smirk and climbed out of bed.

“C’mon, get up. Get off him. What did you use Jamie?”

Remus pulled Sirius away and stood between him and James, he reached out a hand to help James up off the floor.

“I err... It’s only a little glamour... be fixed in no time... in about... well... twenty-four hours.”

“WHAT!?”

* * * * * *

Various attempts to change Sirius’s hair back to black were unsuccessful. The next attempts to simply use a second glamour and dye his hair black ended rather badly and Remus spent a nervous hour trying to make sure Sirius didn't notice the clump of hair that had fallen out. Sirius insisted that he should be allowed to miss a day of school and that James would simply have to write twice as many notes, smuggle food upstairs and do Sirius’s homework. Remus told Sirius to stop being a drama queen and get his arse into his charms class before he got moved down a group to be with the students who could barely perform a simple _accio_.

“Well, fine. But I insist on wearing a paper-bag over my head.”

“Oh yes, because that won’t look stupid.”

“Fine. A hat.”

“Can’t wear hats in class.”

“Fine. A mask. So no one will recognise me.”

“And once again you’ll be marked absent and once again you’ll go down a grade.”

“FINE! Moony please, help me?”

“Sirius it looks fine, it looks... y’know... like a statement. A very bold, Sirius kind of statement. Honestly.”

“You think it’s sexy?”

“Sure. Why not.”

“Oh thank you very bloody much.”

“I love you regardless of whether you have black hair, white hair, green hair or none at all. Ok? Ok. Now, can we please leave or we’ll be late and miss the revision list.”

Sirius walked through the halls of Hogwarts with his shiny white haired head held high. There were sniggers, pointed fingers and even open jeers from the direction of the Slytherins but Sirius greeted all of it with a distinctly out of character serenity. Madame Pomfrey took a good look at the damage and declared Sirius medically and magically fine, and that his hair would be back to normal in no more than a week. Sirius took the news with the eerie, uncharacteristic calm and good grace, refusing to reveal who had inflicted the peroxide hairdo on him.  
In fact by the end of the second day of blonde hair, Remus was all together a little worried about him.

“Are you sure you’re feeling alright?”

“Fine.”

“Sirius?”

“Honestly Moony. I’m great. Fabulous." Sirius leant forwards and gave a conspiratorial wink. "I have a plan.”

“Oh no.”

“What?”

“Just... don't you think maybe, after the rather spectacular failings of some of your other plans... you might just want to leave this one alone?”

"Leave it alone!? Admit defeat? Oh no Moony my dear, this is war!"

Sirius smiled triumphantly and laid back on the bed, watching as Remus slowly, methodically undressed, folding all his clothes and leaving them in a neat little pile on the chair.

“So what do you really think? About the hair...?”

“I... I like it. It’s grown on me.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. It’s... outrageous. And y’know, it got me thinking.” Remus blushed slightly, crawling onto the mattress and casting a silencing charm around the bed before laying his wand on the bedside table and laying next to Sirius, the length of his body pressed against Sirius’s side.

“And what, pray tell dear Moony, were you thinking about?”

“I’ve always wanted to fuck a blonde.”

Sirius stared at him with his mouth agape for approximately three seconds before regaining his smug composure.

"Oh really?" Sirius grinned at Remus's flushed face and flipped on to his front, kissing Remus's shoulder. "Well... I wouldn't want to disappoint now would I Moony...?" Sirius was working his way down Remus's body, licking attentively at his nipples, tickling his trembling stomach with his clever tongue.

Remus let out a low hiss as Sirius straddled his legs and wrapped his lips around Remus's cock eagerly. He wasted no time with subtleties, just set to work, bobbing his head up and down while sucking so hard his cheeks hollowed. Remus cried out, reached down and took a handful of blonde locks, moaning at the sight. He felt his toes curling into the thick bedspread as Sirius’s tongue fluttered playfully at the underside of his cock. Remus arched his hips up once or twice and then tugged on Sirius's hair, pulling his mouth away.

Sirius let Remus's cock fall from his mouth with a whine and looked up disappointed.

"Up." Remus growled, patting Sirius's thigh. Sirius grinned in realisation and struggled up Remus's body in a less than graceful crawl. He straddled Remus's thighs and leaned down for a sloppy kiss. Remus fumbled blindly in the top drawer of the bedside cabinet before finally loosing his temper, grabbing his wand and accio-ing what he was looking for. He ripped open the condom with his teeth and hastily slipped it over his cock. Sirius batted Remus's hands away when he reached down to prepare him, choosing instead to grip the base of Remus's cock firmly and guide himself down onto the length with no preparation at all.

Both boys let out a hissed breath, swearing as Sirius eased himself down, the stretch and burn almost too much to bare but too good to stop. Sirius finally found himself seated, Remus’s cock pushed deep inside him. He let out a shaky breath and rose up on his knees a little way before guiding back down again. He slowly rose higher and higher until finally he was letting Remus’s cock almost all the way out before slamming back down against, his hands braced firmly on Remus’s heaving chest.

Finally Remus lost his patience and clutched at Sirius's hips with bruising fingers, pulling him up and down at a fierce pace that showed no signs of slowing. Sirius's knees were shaking, threatening to give out beneath him, but he gritted his teeth reaching his arms up above himself and groaning like a wild thing. Remus stared at Sirius's lithe body stretched out and flush, forcing himself down onto Remus's cock with total abandon.

Remus leant up, grabbed a handful of Sirius's hair and pulled him down for a searing kiss before releasing him and yelling out as he came, holding Sirius down on his cock as the stars cleared from his eyes. Sirius was wriggling in his grasp, rubbing his cock against Remus's stomach and the course trail of gold hair, leaving a wet trail.

Remus placed both hands on Sirius arse, pulled his dick out and dragged Sirius forwards so that he could swallow down the length of Sirius's cock. Sirius arched back, hands flailing for some kind of support and landing on the curtains by the side of the bed. Remus concentrated all his attentions on the head of Sirius dick, sucking and swirling his tongue alternately and then throwing in a wicked flicker against the slit when it was least expected. Sirius pumped his hips once, twice and then came in Remus's mouth, yanking so hard on the curtains that they parted company with the rail and revealed them both to a gob-smacked pyjama-clad Peter Pettigrew.

* * * * * *

James Potter had a plan. It had been almost a month since Lily had spent the evening in the dorm with him doing homework. A whole month with not so much as a smile in his direction. He had no idea what he was doing wrong. He decided that the best way to woo Miss Evans once and for all (‘for all’ being for her to swoon directly into his four-poster) would be to grow a goatee. Some rugged facial hair, he reasoned, was a sure fire way to prove his manliness and catch her attention.

It took three days for any one to even notice he hadn't shaved. As the four Marauders sat at the breakfast table, half of Sirius’s hair still blonde, Remus rubbed James’s cheek as though trying to scrub away a smudge of dirt.

"It's a beard."

"It's bum fluff I dunno about anything else!"

"Sod off, it's ruggedly handsome."

"You just look like you haven't washed!"

"Piss off Padfoot, I think she'll like it."

"It's a little... well... understated don't you think Prongs?"

"Oh well, forgive me Moony, but not all of us have supernatural hair growing powers."

"Oh yes of course. Having your body ripped apart and reassembled as a wolf once a month is all worth it for the superior facial hair one gets to grow.”

"Oh Jim will you just shave the bloody thing off, you look like a total twat!"

"You, Mr Pettigrew, can take a running jump."

And so the saga of the facial hair that wasn't continued. Every morning and evening for a week and a half James was found at the bathroom mirror primping and preening, ensuring there was not a single stubby black hair out of place. He used razors and tweezers and even a few charms, it was his pride and joy. His constant vigil in front of the mirror was driving the three other boys who were forced to share it with him, bonkers. Until Tuesday morning.

Bleary eyed and sleep-mussed James Potter clambered out of bed, groped on the night stand for his glasses, pushed them up his nose and staggered into the bathroom. He stood in front of the mirror and brushed his teeth, ran his fingers through his hair in an approximation of brushing it and the picked up the tweezers. He blinked a few times to get his eyes into focus. And shrieked.

"You bunch of bloody bastards! What did you do! You bastards! That's it you're all gonna pay for this you, you, you WANKSOCKS!"

James burst into the dorm room to find all three roommates rolling about their beds in hysteria. Peter could barely breathe, wiping tears away from his eyes as he laughed. Sirius was hopping into his jeans while choking with hysterics, and once he'd pulled them up he bolted from the room topless and shoeless. Remus watched him go; laughing so hard his ribs ached.

"That... that dirty rotten... he did this?!" James exclaimed, pointing at the door through which Sirius had just bolted.

"He just... it was... he didn't..." Remus gave up and curled up on his side, his whole body shaking with laughter.

James was apoplectic. His preciously cultivated beard had been shaved off. And in it's place? In it's place was a carefully drawn curly moustache and a pointy beard right down his chin. It wouldn't come off.

Remus spent an hour attempting to get the ink off James’s face while Peter finally managed to stop laughing. When all ideas had been exhausted James snatched the almost finished map and hunted down Sirius. When Remus finally caught up with them they were rolling around the floor in the fourth corridor (watched and cheered on by a large group of students) throwing badly aimed punches at once another and pulling at each other’s hair. Remus hauled them apart and sent James to the dorm to change out of his underwear while he took Sirius off to get some breakfast.

Sirius spent the next three days watching his back, his front, his food and his bed. He didn’t have any qualms in letting Remus go to bed first just to check the coast was clear. James finally got the ink off his face by giving in and going to Madame Pomfrey, he lied about its origins and rubbed in the lotion she gave him vigourously every night. 

Lily Evan’s never commented on the beard, hair or ink, or on the red rash the formed as a result of all the lotion. But she did sit next to James at dinner for three nights in a row.

By the following Monday the beard was gone. It was definitely not forgotten.


	2. Chapter 2

The second week of March saw the full moon rise over Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, the moonlight glinting over the snow that had finally fallen after weeks of freezing weather.   
Had anyone been watching from one of the higher windows of the castle they would have seen a large shaggy black dog (with a curious white streak in its fur) race across the grounds as soon as Madame Pomfrey had disappeared inside the castle.

Neither Peter nor James could stand to watch Remus’s transformation, it was a sight too painful to witness. The first time they had naïvly stood by ready to pop into their animal forms they had ended up running from the room in fear and sheltered in the tunnel, breathing heavily and looking at one another guiltily. Nowadays they would hang back, eat dinner quickly, stock up on supplies for Sirius in the morning and then meet Moony and Padfoot beyond the confines of the shack.

That first time, when James and Peter had fled in fear, Sirius had stayed. He had watched horror-struck as Remus convulsed, his bones cracked audibly, his limbs twisted and arched. He had finally flung himself from the room when Remus’s feet, his beautiful wonky toes, had curled in on themselves, snapping at the knuckles and solidifying in new, paw shapes. Sirius had thrown up on the staircase outside the bedroom and had been shivering so badly he barely managed to perform the animagus transformation in time.

Things had changed now though, Sirius was well practised in his routine and tonight was no different. After he arrived he found Remus in the second floor room (he never changed in the room with the bed, lest the wolf rip it to shreds), he stripped quickly and crawled across the floor to where Remus lay. He placed cool hands over Remus’s too hot skin and whispered calming, sweet words while Remus’s body shook beneath him. The spasms became worse until finally with a sickening crack, his bones began to break, snap and stretch and mutate. 

Sirius transformed then, sensing the power building in Remus’s limbs and knowing that he could no longer contain the wolf. He laid low, whining and cowering beside Remus as his body broke out in course grey hair, his bones lengthened and turned, his spine curved and shortened, his whole body ripped open and the wolf crawled out.

When it was finally over, about half an hour later, Padfoot shuffled forward across the dusty floorboards and licked and nuzzled at the limp, exhausted form of Moony’s body, comforting and reassuring. He settled down beside him, staring wild eyed but still concerned until Moony’s eyes snapped open and the night began.

Padfoot emerged from the tunnel and raced across the grounds snapping at falling snowflakes and rolling through the fluffy snow covering the ground. Moony followed close behind, chasing full pelt after Padfoot, finally catching him at the edge of the woods and tackling him. They fell in a ball of fur and snow, crashing into the base of a huge oak tree and dislodging a snowfall that buried them. When they both emerged spluttering and wild-eyed Prongs was there, watching them with his head cocked to one side and distinctly amused expression on his long elegant face.

Padfoot yapped playfully and dived towards the stag that leapt out of the way gracefully, knocking the branches above his antlers and causing yet another snowfall to descend over Padfoot. Moony raced toward the pile of snow and sniffed around the mound suspiciously, yelping as Padfoot emerged from the top of the heap, growling and glaring at Prongs.

The third battle began. Prongs and Padfoot chased one another through the woods, doing their very best to bury the other under snow drifts, Padfoot jumping up and whipping branches back at Prongs, Prongs using his agility to leap mounds of snow that Padfoot simply sunk into. 

Moony and Wormtail followed lazily, they entertained themselves hunting around the woods, altered entirely by the thick covering of snow.

By the time the sky was lightening with dawn and all four Marauders were back at the edge of the forest, both Padfoot and Prongs soaked through and covered in snow. Padfoot gave one last bark toward Prongs before racing from the cover of the trees to the willow. He sneezed and shook himself, snow flying everywhere, before descending down the tunnel. Moony followed up behind, slower, his movements becoming laboured as the moon’s pull became less and less.

He only just made it back into the top bedroom before the transformation began. He hauled himself onto the bed where Padfoot was already laid out soaking the sheets with snow from his fur, panting and watching Moony closely, his head resting over his forepaws.

* * * * * *

“Atchoo!”

Remus cracked an eye open. He stared at the crumbling ceiling, the thick nest of ancient spider-webs in the corner and weak rays of light peaking through the boarded up window on the far side of the room.

“Atchoooo!”

Remus groaned. His face hurt. His back hurt. His eyes hurt and his fingers and his toes and his ankles and and and... He rolled to his side, wincing and hissing. Sirius was settled beside him in the bed, his nose cherry red.

“Did I wake you?” Sirius asked, brushing his fingers tenderly over Remus’s cheek.

“Mmm.”

“Atchoo! Sorry.” Sirius looked sheepishly at Remus through his eyelashes and sniffed loudly. Remus rolled his eyes and nuzzled into Sirius’s chest, breathing slowly, cataloguing every new injury by identifying each ache.

“Atchoo!” Remus was jerked painfully by Sirius’s sneeze. He groaned and pulled away from Sirius, pushing him away with sore, aching hands.

“Go ‘way.” He mumbled, pressing his face into his pillow. Sirius whined and tried to pull closer again. Just as he was within kissing distance he sneezed again. “Sirius, buggeroff.”

Sirius sighed and kissed Remus’s forehead before pulling away and sneezing twice in a row. He sniffed loudly and stumbled of the bed, yanking on his jeans and a thick woolly jumper.

“See you - *sniff* - later?”

“Mmmm.” Remus was already drifting back to sleep, the blankets still a little bloody from his wounds, wrapped around him like a badly constructed, multicoloured cocoon.

* * * * * *

For the next three days while Remus recovered from the moon, James and Sirius recovered from heavy head-colds. The sniffed their way through lessons, sneezed their way through meals, muttering and blaming one another for starting the snow fight in the first place. They were still on tenterhooks around one another, Remus was getting tired of playing referee and Peter was doing his best not to make eye-contact with anyone. Sirius's hair was almost entirely the same colour now, only one stubborn streak at the front of his head refused to change back but Sirius refused to wash it for fear of a second wave of attacks.

By Wednesday afternoon the snow was mostly melted and the sun shone weakly through the high windows of the Great Hall. All four Marauders had a free period after lunch, but just as Remus laid down his fork and began suggesting a study period James jumped up and ran off declaring a burning need to visit Hagrid. Sirius insisted on doing some homework **alone** in the library. Remus and Peter watched them go with a shrug and wandered back to the Tower alone.

Once in the dorm they settled on their respective beds and began collaborating on the Daily prophet crossword.

“Ok, five letters, ‘celestial phenomenon’. Last letter is an ‘E’.”

“Hmmm... celestial. Like planets? Ending in E... Neptune?”

“Five letters, Pete. Celestial... planets, stars, space... Hasn’t Jamie got my thesaurus around here somewhere? He borrowed it to write Lily a letter.”

Peter laughed and sat up on his bed. “Isn’t that cheating Moony?”

“Nah. It’s research ain’t it?” Remus smiled as he climbed off his own bed and searched round James’s. He kicked open James’s trunk and began rummaging through.

He didn’t turn around when he heard the door open. Or when he heard a sudden cry from Peter. Or the triumphant cry of Sirius.

“Exhibeo occultus bestia!”

There was a very sudden and sharp pain in the small of Remus’s back, he yelped, jumped up and turned around to see Sirius’s face dropping.

“Oh shit. Oh shit Moony. I thought... you were... Where’s James?!”

“What have you done?!”

Just as Remus turned to see what had caused the sudden pain he heard the unmistakable sound of fabric ripping. Peter, sitting frozen on the end of his bed stared openly at Remus’s arse. Remus turned slowly and peered over his shoulder.

He took a deep breath and turned back to Sirius, thunder and death written over every feature.

“I. Am going. To kill you.”

“Alright, alright...”

“I’m going to bloody kill you.”

“I know, but just let me...”

“I’m going to make your heart explode and your eyes pop out.”

“Well that was... graphic. Listen, babe, calm down...”

“Calm DOWN! Calm down he says! CALM DOWN?!”

“Ok, ok, look...” Sirius was fighting a smirk.

“You think this is funny?”

“No - _Gods_ no. I’m erm... I’m gonna go find a cure...”

“You do that Sirius, before I hex your balls off and wear them as cufflinks.”

“It could be worse Remus.”

“How. Exactly. Could this be worse Peter?”

“Well... at least it’s a cute tail.”

“...”

“I’ll just go help Sirius shall I?”

* * * * * *

Six hours later and there was no cure to be found. Peter shuffled up to the tower and into the common room downhearted. He and Sirius had searched the book that the original spell had come from and it failed to list a single idea to reverse the effects. Sirius had insisted he stay back and check a final book in the restricted section, claiming his life just wouldn’t be worth living if he came back without any sign of a cure.

Peter pushed his way through the portrait hole to find the common room almost entirely empty but for a few eager seventh years cramming in some late night revision and James Potter huddled on the sofa in floods of hysterical tears. Peter sat down, took one look at James’s face and broke into laughter as well. It wasn’t funny, poor Remus was stuck with a tail. A tail! Ok, maybe it was just a little funny.

Neither boy was able to speak, the laughter wracked their bodies until their sides hurt. Neither of them saw Remus creeping into the dorm, looking around warily for his two friends. When he found them, crying with laughter, Remus saw red and so hexed them both with the spell that Sirius had used.

“See how funny it is now!” He shrieked, daring them to laugh again. It was no use. As soon as they caught sight of one another they burst out laughing once more, hooting and howling, pointing at each other in hysterics. Exasperated, Remus stunned them both just to get a little peace and quiet, and then stormed off to the dorm.

By the time Sirius reached the common room almost an hour later he found both Peter and James still laid out on the dorm room floor, a crowd of pyjama-ed students gathering to point and giggle. Sirius legged it up to the dorm room. When he poked his head round the bedroom door Remus growled. Never a good sign. Sirius entered with his hands up in surrender, bowing his head in a submissive gesture more akin to Padfoot when dealing with a grumpy Moony.

“I’ll figure it out. I will. I swear.”

“You didn’t find _anything?!_”

“It’s just a case of looking in the right place and I’ll find it, I will Moony, you just have to...”

“Exhibeo exibeo occultus bestia! You bastard!” Sirius stared open mouthed at Remus and then grabbed in head. The ears grew quickly and poked through his fingers.

“Well. I guess I deserved that.”

* * * * * *

Minerva McGonagall was, for the first time in exactly seventeen years and twenty-six days, entirely speechless. She stood in front of her desk and surveyed the four boys sat before her. 

Remus Lupin; sat forward in his chair, a long fluffy tail bulging in the back of his robes and twitching occasionally.

Sirius Black; staring daggers at the floor, a pair of short, pointed and furry black ears sticking through his glossy and well-mussed hair.

Peter Pettigrew; sat with his hands carefully in his lap, his fingernails over five-inches long and talon-sharp.

And then there was Potter. Poor James Potter. Minerva turned away from the boys, brought her smirk under control and sat behind her desk.

“Never. Never in my whole career have I ever been as... mortified as when the four of you, from MY house were found... like this!” She waved in the general direction of the boys’ new appendages. “This is just... unbelievable.”

Remus shuffled awkwardly in his chair and chewed nervously on his bottom lip. Sirius sighed and sat back nonchalantly in his chair, arms crossed. Peter rubbed at his nose with the back of his wrist and cast a quick glance at James beside him.  
James. Who was sitting with his hands on his head. Well... sort of... round his head. Around the two huge antlers that had sprouted from the mess of black hair. Peter tried not to snigger.

“You, Mr Lupin, should know better. As a prefect you are charged with setting an example - ”

“It’s my fault…”

“Excuse me?”

“I started it. I accidentally gave him the tail, it was a... slight mishap. A joke.”

“A JOKE?” McGonagall’s shrill Scottish accent echoed through the room. “And what, pray tell, do you think of the joke now Mr Black?”

“Well... all things considered? Not as funny as I’d originally intentioned.”

* * * * * *

Three weeks detention, double homework for Transfiguration (“Since apparently you’re so talented in that area!”) and one severe lecture from McGonagall later and Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs were back in the safety of their dorm room, animal appendages still causing considerable trouble.

Peter had tried cutting his claw like nails but within seconds they grew back, long and thicker. Prongs had tried minimising spells, softening charms and basic reversals but still he was burdened by the huge antlers. In the end Peter ended up with a pair of charmed mittens pulled over the talons as he lay in bed trying to sleep while James supported the antlers with as many pillows as he could bribe from the house-elves. After an hour of jeering; James suggesting they paint Peter’s nails red and dress him up as cat woman from his comics and Sirius making ‘big rack’ jokes to James, the boys finally settled down in bed. 

Remus had lightened up since his earlier outburst, unable to stay mad when Sirius’s ears kept twitching at the slightest sound and James looked so utterly ridiculous with his antlers on display. He struggled for some time to find a comfortable position in bed, finally settling on his belly, his tail wagging under the blankets.

Sirius settled back against the pillows on his side, fidgeting a little before working out how to flex his ears so that he wasn’t uncomfortable. He ran his hand along Remus’s back and smirked, reaching down to tap his fingers along Remus’s arse. Remus jerked away, frowning and groaning into the pillow.

"Oh come on Rem... I've always wanted to do it doggy-style."

Remus rolled over to his side, one eyebrow arched incredulously.

"How long have you been waiting to say that?"

Sirius shrugged and flashed a sheepish grin. "Since I found the spell."

"Well, congratulations, now you've said it you can shut up and sleep."

"But pleeeease Moony."

"No."

"Go on... Can you feel it?" Sirius asked, running his fingers along the furry tail gently. Remus gasped. "You can, can't you?!" Sirius gripped the tail with a firmer grip and Remus whined. "That is SO cool!"

Remus blushed and hid his face in the pillow. Sirius grinned and ran the tips of his fingers up Remus’s back and then back down again, trailing them around the base of the silky grey tail that emerged from the small of his back. Remus couldn’t hold back the contented sigh escaping his throat, Sirius’s touch was some how muted and yet – magnified, differently from the way it felt anywhere else. It made him think of the moon, and for the first time without fear or anger, made him remember the joy of running through snow-laden forests and yapping at the heels of Padfoot. It tingled, as though every strand of thick grey fur had it’s very own nerve ending and as Sirius twisted his palm over the flesh Remus pushed up into the touch.

“C’mon Moony, we owe it to... science. Scientific experimentation.” Remus chuckled into his pillow and turned his face to Sirius.

“Are you suggesting I take notes?”

“Yeah. Make pie charts and things.” Sirius leant in to kiss Remus’s lips. “Lists.” He kissed Remus’s shoulder. “Graphs.” A kiss to Remus bicep. “Academic study.” Remus laughed again and shuffled closer to Sirius, pushing him flat onto his back with a warm palm on his chest. Once flat Sirius grinned and pulled Remus over on top of him. He reached behind Remus and took the tail in a firm grip, stroking up and down with careful concentration.

Remus bit his lip nervously as his eyes drifted shut, Sirius’s fingers sending shivers down his spine. He rocked back into the touch and gasped when he felt Sirius’s cock pressing wetly against the back of his balls. Remus arched his eyebrow once more and tried to look stern.

“You have a thing for tails?”

“I have a thing for you.” Sirius whispered, twisting his palm over the tail.

“Oh.” Remus breathed, leaning forward briefly to steal a quick kiss, his own erection pressing against Sirius’s stomach. Remus pulled away from Sirius’s lips and reached out to grab the tub of lube from the bedside cabinet as Sirius continued to stroke his tail, gently but continuously, the sensations rippling up and down his body. Remus gasped again, dipping his index and middle fingers daintily into the jar and then reaching beneath himself to slide the lube over Sirius’s cock. Sirius grunted, squirmed at the touch and squeezed Remus’s tail tighter. Remus let out an anguished squeak and froze, gritting his teeth at the flood of sensory information.  
Sirius catalogued the response, noting the the tension in Remus’s face, _too much_. He let his free hand drift over the swell of Remus’s thigh and gave it a gentle stroke, waiting for Remus to settle himself. When he was happy Remus looked up, smiling lazily at Sirius and biting his bottom lip again. Sirius wrapped his free hand firmly round his prick and watched eagerly as Remus sat back, his face contorting into an expression caught between bliss and torment.

They rested like that for a moment, Remus still - frozen to the spot, gasping as his skin buzzed while Sirius never stopped his careful ministrations on Remus’s tail.

It was the strangest mixture of sensations, like nothing Remus could explain or had ever imagined. The strange tingling of Sirius’s hand on his tail, the feel of Sirius’s cock buried inside him and his own fingers wrapped loosely round his cock. He shuddered a breath and tried to coordinate moving forwards, backwards and up and down all at once.

Sirius set about a careful exploration of each of Remus’s reactions; his finger tips first gentle then firmer, long strokes and concentric circles. Remus seemed abandoned to the feelings, arching his back and curling his toes so tightly they cramped up. Sirius watched hungrily as Remus stroked himself, his scarred face a picture of perfect ecstasy.

Sirius spread his legs a little wider, planted his feet more firmly on the mattress so that Remus could rest against his thighs, rocking backwards and forwards slowly. Sirius growled in frustration, he wanted nothing more than to hold Remus’s hips and pound into him, maybe grab hold of that tail and hold his arse in place as he fucked him but Remus wanted it slow so he took deep, calming breaths and focussed on the way Remus’s hands were shaking as he touched himself.

“Can’t... I won’t... Merlin feels fucking g-great!” Remus was whispering the words breathlessly, his hips rocking back and forth faster and harder. Sirius reached up with his free hand to rub over Remus’s chest, plucking at his nipples just hard enough for it to sting. Remus hissed, nodding his head frantically, fucking himself harder and harder on Sirius’s cock. “Yes! Yes yes yes yessss!” Remus cried out, holding his cock tightly as he came all over Sirius’s chest.

Sirius immediately let go of Remus’s tail and clutched his hips, holding him down and pumping his hips up no more than an inch, over and over, making Remus scream out at the over-stimulation. With a howl Sirius finally came, screeching a long string of swear words. Remus collapsed forward, grinning like a maniac, and nuzzled Sirius’s chest.

There was a long moment of silent satisfaction before Remus moved, rolling off Sirius and grabbing his wand. He muttered a few basic clean up charms and settled back down on his stomach, his tail swishing steadily. Sirius bit back any comment about happy puppies.

“So Moony, in your academic opinion... was it good?” Sirius asked, snuggling up to Remus’s side.

“Oh I couldn’t possibly say Padfoot.” Sirius glared.

“Why not?”

“Well, any good student tries every experiment at least twice.” Remus smirked, reaching out to scratch Sirius behind one ear.


	3. Chapter 3

The cure, apparently, for unwanted animal parts if you’re an illegal underage animagus, was quite simple. Peter agreed to change into Wormtail and run down to the common room and see if the delightful Miss Evans was down there because James resolutely refused to leave _ever again_ if she was. A quick pop and buzz of magic and Peter was crawling from beneath his dressing gown. He reappeared at the bedroom door three minutes later and with a second pop and buzz Peter Pettigrew stood in the middle of the dorm room. 100% human. No more claws. James didn’t even wait for Remus’s surprised gasp to finish before an adolescent stag was standing in the middle of the dorm room amongst discarded socks and spell books. Another pop and James appeared, antler free. Sirius was next, gleefully bounding on top of Remus and licking him playfully before transforming while still on top of him.

All three turned to Remus next. Who shrugged.

“Shit. Moony.” James looked crestfallen. Remus couldn’t voluntarily change. Would he have to wait until the full moon? Another four weeks away?

“S’ok.” Remus shrugged again, a brave smile plastered on his face. Sirius swallowed down a lump in his throat and climbed off Remus but stayed close, holding Remus’s hands in his own.

“Maybe... maybe you could learn to be an animagus too.” Peter piped up. Remus smiled weakly at him and shook his head.

“The erm... the lycanthrope curse - it interferes with transmogrification magics. Learnt that for OWLS, remember the one question you had no trouble with?” Remus’s attempt at a joke was met with dead silence.

“This is all your fault Sirius!” James finally burst out, sitting down on his bed with a huff.

“Me?! You’re the one who left me under a fucking avalanche in the woods.”

“Me?! _You’re_ the one who shaved off my beard!”

“Oh P-leeease! That wasn’t a beard it was fluff!”

“Shut up!” Remus snapped, frowning at the both of them. “Just. Be quiet. Please.”

The boys sat in uncomfortable silence for a minute longer. They were interrupted by a polite knock at the door.

“Gentlemen? Are you decent? I’m coming in.”

Madame Pomfrey entered backwards, in her hands a tray laid with four glasses of purple liquid. She looked around at all four boys and frowned. James suddenly realised that three of four of them were miraculously cured and jumped up from his bed.

“We erm... it just... we woke up and... they were... Remus is still...” James blushed and stepped aside, revealing Remus sitting in bed looking thoroughly miserable.

“Well. What a fascinating coincidence. You see after a long nights study - which I’m sure Professor McGonagall will enjoy punishing you for - we discovered there are only two possible cures.”

Sirius’s eyes bulged momentarily as James gulped audibly. Peter became suddenly fascinated by the floor.

“And since none of you are Animagus, it seems you have discovered a previously unheard of cure. How interesting.”

Madame Pomfrey eyed all four boys shrewdly, her cuddly, matronly exterior fooling no one.

“Mr Lupin, you seem to be the only one still effected?”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Very well. Here. Drink this down and you’ll be fine in twenty-two hours. It doesn’t taste great but it does the trick - so no pouring it away and hoping I don’t notice. Professor Slughorn spent hours brewing that.”

Remus nodded his head and stared at the steaming glass of purple gloop on his bedside cabinet. The room lapsed into guilty silence as Pomfrey left. As soon as the door shut Remus grabbed up the glass and gulped a mouthful. He grimaced and very nearly spat it back out. He glared at all three of his fellow Marauders and looked down at the glass. He sighed heavily and shook his head.

“I hate you all.” He muttered before drinking he potion down.

* * * * * *

The potion did work. Not after making Remus cranky all day and making the tail moult all over the bed before disappearing. Thursday morning saw all four boys, human bodies with all the right colourings, trudging sleepily into their charms class, taught by their least favourite teacher. 

Professor Chidly was an old man with short cropped white hair, bad teeth and even worse breath. His glasses magnified his eyes until he looked like a shocked, pop-eyed fish. He was forever forgetting where he was in the middle of sentences, repeating himself until everyone was as lost as he was. He also hated Sirius with a fiery passion.

Every lesson he found a way to embarrass Sirius, made him the subject in demonstrations, asked him ridiculously hard questions, or just called him names. Every week Sirius would take the humiliation with a grimace and quietly muttered comments. This week was no different. Sirius failed to name all seventeen subspecies of frog that could be affected by the ‘Occultus Procer’ spell.

“I’m afraid not Mr Black. As I’m sure any one who had actually managed to pick up their texts and read page 34 could have told me, the final twelve species are...”

Sirius sighed and continued the doodle on the corner of his parchment of Chidly as a goldfish. “Stupid old fart, anyone who bothered to read the bloody stupid boring text book and didn’t fall asleep coz it was so bloody boring...” Remus, who was sitting next to him, elbowed him in the ribs and continued with his own immaculate note taking.

James, watching from across the table, suddenly grinned and took his wand from his bag. He flicked through his text book, found the spell he wanted and he leaned forwards on the pretence of looking closely at his book. Sniggering he pointed his wand across the desk at Sirius. Just as he began to whisper the spell Lily walked passed and he turned to watch her.

“Perdo Frenum.” The spell erupted from the end of his wand and with a pink flash and hit Remus square in the chest. James stared in horror.

“Oh Rem...”

“Mr Potter!” Professor Chidly was storming back from the front desk.

“Oh Rem I... I meant to hit Sirius.. I... I... wasn’t watching... I...”

Remus’s face was turning pink, a fierce blush creeping over his cheeks and neck. Sirius jumped off his chair, grabbed Remus’s shoulders and shook him gently.

“You ok? Baby you alright? What’s wrong?” Sirius asked, his eyes wild with worry.

“Mr Potter what on earth do you think you’re playing at casting spells in class?!” James was frantically looking from Remus to Professor Chidly, and jumping up and down in his chair.

“I... I...”

“Detention, Mr Potter. Tomorrow night. Now, what have you cast?”

“Erm... erm it was... Perdo Formido.” Professor Chidly’s eyebrows shot up and he stared at James. 

“And why, pray tell, did you see fit to cast a ‘No Fear’ spell in my classroom?”

“I erm... I hoped... maybe Sirius would... embarrass himself by muttering out loud.”

James swallowed and looked at the floor. Remus made a strange gurgling noise.

“Are you ok Mr Lupin?” Professor Chidly turned to him, placing a cool hand against Remus’s forehead.

“Fine!” Remus squeaked, darting away from the Professor’s touch. “I think... Medical wing... Sirius can take me...” Remus was shoving his books in his bags haphazardly and yanking Sirius off his chair.

“Very well. Now. Class, where was I...?”

Remus dragged Sirius out of the classroom, slammed the door shut, dropped his book bag and backed Sirius into the door. He held Sirius’s face in his hands and kissed him. Sirius gasped and groaned and squeaked all at once. When he finally pried Remus’s lips from his own he held onto Remus’s shoulders and stared wide-eyed.

“What happened to the Hospital Wing plan?” Remus hook his head impatiently and shoved his thigh between both of Sirius’s. He licked his lips with a feral grin on his face and rubbed his hips mercilessly against Sirius’s.

“He screwed it up.” Remus whispered, latching his teeth onto Sirius’s earlobe and biting down.

“Ouwwwhat?!”

Remus rolled his eyes and took a deep breath. He seized both of Sirius’s wrists and held them up against the door.

“Perdo Formido - lose fear. Jamie fucked it up. Perdo Frenum - lose restraint.”

“Oh... _Oh_.” Sirius grinned. “I see.” Remus growled and slammed their lips together again. He ground his hips against Sirius’s, moaning at the restriction of robes and trousers and underwear. Sirius pulled one hand free of Remus’s grasp and grabbed a fistful of Remus’s hair, pulling their lips apart once more. “Do we think maybe, a more practical setting might be in order? One with, say a bed? And a door that can be locked?”

“Fine.” Remus huffed, pouting slightly. “But you better hurry up. Otherwise I’m gonna fuck you where you stand.”

Sirius whimpered and ran as fast as his legs could carry him.

* * * * * 

“Oh... Gods!” Remus yanked impatiently at the knot in his tie and pulled it out of his collar. Sirius’s lips journeyed over Remus’s neck, dipping into the hollow of his throat then up over his bobbing adam’s apple. Remus yanked open Sirius’s fly none too gently.

“Just... oh fuck please just touch me...” Sirius happily obliged, pulling Remus’s shirt out of his jeans and yanking it over his head so hard it caught around Remus’s chin and there was a brief moment in which decapitation by menswear was a real possibility.

Shirt finally discarded, but the Gryffindor tie still in place, Sirius set to work kissing Remus’s chest, biting the shivering lines of muscles in his arms, up his neck with the flat of his tongue, catching one pink nipple between his teeth and biting mercilessly.

“Yes. Oh Siri yes!” They had only made it as far as the common room. Both wedged between a table and the wall, Remus was trying to get Sirius’s shirt and jeans off all at once, trying to bend him over the table and fuck him till he had trouble walking. The need, the want, it was like fire in his veins.

Sirius clutched Remus’s hips in a tight grip. Sirius hoisted Remus up off the floor and Remus wrapped his legs round Sirius’s hips as he staggered across the room, collapsing against the back of the sofa. Remus planted his knees against the cushions and nearly ripped Sirius’s t-shirt as he pulled it up hastily, running the flat of his palms over Sirius’s chest and making a hungry rumbling growl in his throat.

Sirius grabbed Remus’s arse this time and made another attempt for the door to the dorms. They made it up three steps before Sirius had to grab hold of the rail. He lowered Remus forwards, laying him out on the cold stones steps. Remus pushed his hand inside Sirius’s jeans and wrapped his long fingers round Sirius cock. Sirius’s head dropped down between his shoulders as he took a shuddering breath. Remus licked his lips and stroked faster, watching Sirius’s face the whole time, watching the desire and pleasure play out across his features.

Suddenly Sirius wrapped his fingers round Remus’s wrists and yanked it away, slammed it into the step and held it there. Sirius’s fought with Remus’s trousers with one hand, finally ripping off the button and yanking them over Remus’s thin hips. He pulled Remus’s dick free of his boxer shorts and thrust his hips forward mercilessly. Their dicks collided, hot flesh against flesh, and Remus arched up off the stairs, yelling out.

Sirius looked up at Remus’s face contorted need and released his hand.

“Bed. Now.” Remus nodded breathlessly and scrabbled up the stairs, naked but for one sock, his tie and his boxers bunched round his thighs. Sirius followed, his jeans open at the fly almost falling from his hips, forgetting about the discarded clothing they’d left in their wake.

It was just a spell, just chemicals and magic and false signals speeding through his brain but Remus needed it. Needed Sirius’s hands on his body, mouth and tongue and fingers and lips and skin against skin more than he needed to breathe. Breathe. Must remember to do that too. 

Remus scrabbled through the bedroom door and onto the nearest bed. Laying sideways across the bed the sheets bunched up around his elbows as he twisted round to watch Sirius stalk through the open door and slam it shut behind him. Whipping his wand from the back pocket of his jeans he growled out several locking charms as well as a few silencing spells and then turned back to Remus.

“Now I can do what ever I want and no one can interrupt.”

Remus moaned and let his head fall back against the bed, his eyes squeezed shut, waiting for the electricity of Sirius’s touch. When it finally came Remus sobbed out a breath, arching into Sirius’s palm where it lay against his chest.

Sirius grinned and fell to his knees by the bed, showing no sign of pain when his knees met the floorboards with a crack. He reached out and yanked off Remus’s boxer shorts and then with one smooth motion Sirius leant forwards and wrapped his lips round the head of Remus’s cock, his palms laying flat against the scarred plains of Remus’s strong thighs.

Remus yelled something unintelligible, his fingers wrapping round Sirius’s where they lay on his thighs. He dug his head back into the mattress as Sirius’s lips descended carefully, tracing every vein and ridge with his tongue as he went. Remus thrashed his head from side to side moaning and gasping as Sirius pulled back with the same careful attention. Sirius grinned around his mouthful and hummed happily. Remus growled at the sensation and then bent his neck, looking down as Sirius started back down again slowly, the sight of his slick cock disappearing between Sirius’s lips utterly obscene.

“F-fuck!” Remus eased his death grip from Sirius’s hand and sank his fingers into Sirius’s hair, using his supernatural strength for just a moment to hold Sirius’s head still as he bucked his hips up once, twice...

Sirius groaned around Remus’s cock, taking a deep breath and concentrating hard on relaxing his throat. He closed his eyes and focussed on the feeling of Remus fucking his mouth. He groaned when Remus’s fingers tightened in his hair, his neck was cramping, his knees hurt and his cock ached but there was no where else he would rather have been.

Remus’s fingers finally loosened allowing Sirius to regain control of the pace. He swallowed messily round the length of Remus cock and then pulled away, placed a few sloppy kisses against Remus’s balls and then crawled up over Remus’s body.

“Y’know. I don’t think Prong’s would be very happy at your choice of bed Moony my love.”

Remus looked about him confused and then groaned, smiling.

“Shall we move?”

“No no no... I think it’s adequate revenge for hexing you.” Sirius murmured against Remus’s neck, licking along the salty skin and the gold and red silk tie.

Remus groaned and raked his nails down Sirius’s back, slipped his hands beneath Sirius’s jeans and grabbed his arse. He arched up against Sirius a few times, groaning at the blissful friction sparking between their near naked bodies. Sirius, holding himself up on his hands, littered Remus’s face with kisses and finally pulled himself up and away. Before Remus could whine out a complaint Sirius shimmied out of his jeans, flicking them off his foot with a flourish before turning back to Remus.

Sirius settled on his side, his legs dangling off the side of the bed, his head propped up on one hand while the other drifted lazily down Remus’s chest, up to his neck, over his lips, the pads of his fingers pulling on Remus’s plump bottom lip a little. Remus lay still on his back, his legs slightly parted and hanging off the bed, his cock hard and red, laying against the trail of golden hair on his stomach. Sirius leaned down and ghosted a kiss over Remus’s angel-bow lips and then spoke directly into his ear.

“Show me.”

Remus moaned, turning his head into Sirius’s shoulder and blushing furiously. Sirius chuckled at the sudden bout of self-consciousness and ran his fingers through Remus’s hair.

“C’mon Moony. Show me what you want...” He licked the shell of Remus’s ear and reached behind him, pulling the pillow from the head of the bed and pushing it under Remus’s head and shoulders to make him more comfortable. Remus huffed a little breath against Sirius’s shoulder and then turned away, stared briefly at the underside of the canopy above the bed and then closed his eyes. He spread his legs wider, hooking one over Sirius’s legs and the other over the footboard, and then wrapped his fingers around his cock.

He stroked slowly, pulling up in long languorous slides and then back down with breathtaking patience. After four or five strokes he released his cock and reached down lower, cupping his balls and pulling on them slightly. Remus’s face was flushed, his high cheek bones a delicate rosy colour and his neck a darker, serious red.

Sirius watched, mouth agape, his own hand running slowly, _slowly_ over his own cock. Remus turned to face him once more, his eyes slitting open and staring up at Sirius’s face with such a look of concentration Sirius couldn’t help but laugh through a shaky breath.

Remus bit his bottom lip fiercely and brought one hand up to his mouth, he pushed two fingers passed his lips and sucked on them before letting them go. Sirius groaned, uncontrolled and purely instinctual as Remus reached down between his legs once more, this time reaching even further back and pressing two fingers inside himself. He cried out, pushing his hips up against empty space and then grinding them back down against the mattress. His eyes fell shut once more as he pushed them further, his arm twisting at an awkward angle, the base of his cock brushing against the inside of his wrist.

Sirius could barely hold back, Remus twisted his fingers and shouted out as he brushed against his sweet spot. Remus was panting, his left hand scrabbled against the bed sheets before reaching down to grab his cock to tug hard and fast. Sirius released his own cock and caught Remus’s hand, pulling it free of his cock he clambered over Remus. He knelt between Remus’s already wide spread legs and sucked on two fingers before running his hand over Remus’s and pushing his fingers in alongside Remus’s.

“Shhhhit!” Remus yelled, his free hand slamming down against the bed.

Sirius stilled his hand, his fingers already pushed deep, and watched Remus’s face.

“Too much?” Sirius asked, a hard edge to his voice that betrayed just how close he was to coming undone. Remus shook his head desperately against the bed, moving his own fingers against Sirius’s, encouraging Sirius to move with him. They took it slowly, Sirius watching with rapt desire as their fingers moved together pushing, and stretching inside Remus’s body.

With a well practised flick of the wrist Sirius twisted his fingers and brushed over Remus’s sweet spot, making him arch and claw at the sheets. With a growl Sirius leant forwards and bit hungrily at Remus’s neck before drawing his fingers out slowly. He looked down at Remus through a fall of blue-black hair and smiled, rocking his hips forwards and brushing his cock alongside Remus’s a few times. Remus twisted up into the contact, murmuring sweet obscenities as Sirius continued to rock, balancing all his weight on his forearms, brushing hot little kisses down Remus’s chest.

“Please… More… Need, I need more Siri – Padfoot please!”

Sirius pressed his forehead against Remus’s heaving chest for a fraction of a second, pulling himself back from the edge of oblivion before looking up at Remus’s face, flushed with heavy, hooded eyes.

“I need…” Sirius looked about the bed urgently, suddenly realising he was on James’s bed and didn’t know (or want to) where he could get his hands on anything slick. “I need, something? Something y’know…” Sirius fumbled for the word, his vocabulary abandoning him momentarily.

Remus rolled awkwardly, half onto his stomach, underneath Sirius and screeched an impatient accio. A small tub of blue-tinted lube shot out from under their bed and Remus caught it in one outstretched hand. He rolled back over and found Sirius staring at him, mouth-open.

“Wha’?!”

“You... That... That was wandless. You just did a wandless spell.”

“Oh... yeah. Guess I did.”

“Was that your first?”

“Errr I don't think so...?” Remus looked up suspiciously as Sirius broke into a grin.

“I was hoping your first ever wandless magic was for the lube!” He laughed, rubbing his palms over Remus’s hips.

Remus rolled back onto his front and arched up gracefully onto all fours. He flicked his hair out of his face and looked over his shoulder.

“You wanna make fun of me or you wanna fuck me?” Sirius gulped and stifled his laughter; a shiver of anticipation ran through him.

“I can’t do both?”

Remus chuckled breathlessly and pushed back against Sirius who was kneeling on the edge of the bed. Sirius grabbed with hot hands at the tub of lube, twisting the lid off with a pop and dipping his fingers in unceremoniously. He ran his fingers down the length of his cock, trying not to apply too much pressure, not wanting to bring himself any closer than he already was to coming.

Unable to wait any longer Sirius dropped the tub and gripped the backs of Remus’s thighs, spreading them wide until Remus was almost thrown off balance, his arms gripping the edge of the mattress, his head resting between them. Sirius pushed forwards forcefully, not holding stopping until he was rested, hips to arse. Remus groaned, long and sated, spreading his legs even further apart. Sirius pulled back sharply and then forced forwards, pushing so hard Remus was very nearly launched headfirst over the edge of the bed. Remus yelled out something nonsensical, punctuated by something so filthy Sirius was pleased he’d cast that silencing charm, lest the first years be completely traumatised.

Remus finally felt calmer, the tension in his limbs easing to a familiar tingle, every brutal thrust of Sirius’s hips sparking off fireworks behind Remus’s eyelids. He lifted his head and looked back over his shoulder at Sirius, watching as Sirius’s face betrayed his pleasure, mouth slack and eyes half-closed. Remus pushed back, eagerly meeting each thrust so hard Sirius’s balls slapped against his own.

“O-oh fuck!” Remus sounded almost shocked at the sudden jolt of something so good right through him, making his arms feel weak so that his upper body dropped down again, head pushed into the sheets between his forearms.

Sirius grinned wolfishly at the reaction, angling his hips just so to hit that spot again and again and again - until Remus howled out and frantically reached down beneath himself, gripping the base of his cock and pulling in erratic, violent jerks.

“Mmm... fuck Moony... Come on baby, fuck yeah, I can’t...” Sirius babbled, his fingers digging into Remus’s hips and yanking him back to meet every push forward, squeezing his eyes shut and clenching his teeth in an attempt to stave off his orgasm for just long enough.

Remus gave one last pull at his cock and then slammed his fist into the bed, his scream seemed to echo off the walls. The release was stronger than anything he’d felt before, the effects of the spell perhaps, or the fact that Sirius’s cock was hammering mercilessly at his sweet spot, sending sparks of pleasure so intense they were almost painful dancing along Remus’s spine.

Sirius growled as Remus’s body collapsed beneath him, pulling Remus’s hips back once, twice and finally and third time, coming hard with a breathless gasp. He gave a few final thrusts, his whole body wracked with spasms as his orgasm died away.

Finally Sirius fell forward and cushioned his cheek against Remus’s spine, his fingertips still pressing firmly into the hollows of Remus’s hips. Remus groaned and wriggled underneath Sirius’s weight.

“Padf’t.” Remus mumbled. Sirius moaned and pulled his hips back slowly, easing himself from Remus’s arse before he rolled over, dragging in breath and staring glassy eyed at the canopy of the bed. Remus chuckled.

“You alive?” Remus wriggled over and kissed Sirius’s cheek.

“Nope. Dead from sex. I died happy.” Sirius said with a solemn nod. Remus chuckled into Sirius’s sweaty shoulder and looked around the room.

“We should move.”

“No no no...” Sirius whined and rolled over so that he was face to face with Remus. He rubbed their noses together.

“C’mon. I wanna sleep. In _our_ bed. Prong’ll kill us.” Sirius gave an exaggerated sigh and launched himself over the edge of the bed, staggered over to his own and crawled under the covers. Remus followed on post-orgasmic shaky legs and pulled the covers right up over their heads. They snuggled together under the blanket, kissing sloppily until they both drifted into a dreamless sleep.

* * * * * 

The door creaked open and from behind it appeared a wand with a white sock tied to the end. It waggled up and down.

"Truce?"

James appeared from behind the door, still waving his flag way out ahead of him. Remus looked at it with one raised eyebrow before breaking into a smirk.

"Yeah, alright. Truce. I hereby declare this battle over." Sirius yawned, wrapping his arms back round Remus.

"Just one thing Jamie..." Remus mumbled, wriggling around until he was comfortable, Sirius's arms and legs tangled with his own, Sirius’s head resting on his chest.

"Yeah, what's that Rem?"

"You _might_ want to do a couple of cleansing spells on your bed before you sit down…"


End file.
